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When I started telling friends and relatives that I was pregnant with Lauren, a number of them told me I should start taking prenatal vitamins immediately. Everything I read impelled me to do the same thing; in fact, almost everything I referenced assumed that anyone trying to get pregnant was already taking vitamins, particularly vitamins chock-full of folic acid. It all made it sound like any baby born to a mother who didn’t take prenatal vitamins was destined to develop some kind of birth defect.

I held off on buying any vitamins until after we saw Dr. Shoji, mainly because I didn’t really have any idea what to look for, and we’d hoped that he would steer us in the right direction. When I asked him about vitamins I should take, he shrugged and said, “They’re not necessary. If you’re eating a healthy diet, you and baby are getting everything you need.”

His extremely relaxed response surprised me, considering how adamant all the American literature had been about it. But vitamins were clearly not at the main front of Japanese prenatal care. After the appointment, Geordie and I went to a drugstore, just to see what kind of vitamin options there were. We found nothing marketed especially for pregnant women, nothing in the way of “prenatal care.” When Geordie asked one of the employees about it, she pointed out the folic acid supplements but explained that there were no specific vitamins for pregnant women. We ended up getting a general women’s vitamin that had folic acid in it. Later in the pregnancy, I switched to one that had a high amount of DHA, the better for baby’s brain development. None of the doctors I saw in Japan ever asked me about the vitamins or supplements I was taking.

Fast forward to now. One of the first questions the midwife asked me at my first prenatal appointment was what vitamins and supplements I was taking. I was not surprised by the question, but I was a little taken aback by how insistent she was about what I was taking.

I’d started taking prenatal vitamins in late December, once we’d decided that we’d be trying for a baby in the spring. I wasn’t convinced of the necessity,but I figured it wouldn’t hurt. By the time I got the positive pregnancy test, the bottle was nearly empty, and I’d found that the vitamins were contributing to my nausea – supposedly because of the iron. I switched to a gummy vitamin that did not contain iron, along with a calcium supplement since the gummies didn’t have that either.

The midwife didn’t seem overly impressed with my choices. She suggested I look into an iron supplement. She suggested what type of calcium supplement I should take. She suggested a “plant-based” vitamin. She was adamant that, no matter what I took, I should be sure it had the full amount of folic acid.

We talked more about vitamins and supplements than we did about actual nutrition through diet.

I found it mildly irritating.

One of the things the head midwife mentioned at the open house was that they tried to reserve medicine as a last resort. Geordie kind of rolled his eyes at the mention of homeopathic treatments, but I figured that would be standard procedure for an establishment that focused on natural pregnancy and childbirth. Not that I’m into homeopathy, but I’m not in the habit of automatically reaching for pills when I’m not well. I’ve never been that bad off, fortunately.

Even though I do take my prenatal vitamins, I’m not convinced that they’re necessary. Well, maybe right now, while my stomach deals with all of these hormones and aversions and cravings – but I intend to eat as balanced and healthy a diet as I can. Not just during this pregnancy, but indefinitely. I don’t want to be reliant on vitamins for my nutrition. If I find myself needing more iron in my diet, I don’t want a supplement to be my crutch – I know what foods to reach for when I need iron. I want to put my trust in natural foods. I still believe what Dr. Shoji said: baby will get everything it needs from a healthy, natural diet.

Reading through American pregnancy books during my last pregnancy, I often felt that they were trying to convince me that babies aren’t born healthy on their own, that they need medical care, doctors, and vitamins to make it through their ten months in the uterus. Everything seems to offer assurance: follow these rules, and baby will be healthy. What can go wrong?

Well, we know how I feel about that. I took the vitamins, I had regular prenatal care, I carefully watched what I ate to make sure I wasn’t ingesting anything “dangerous,” I took the best care of myself and was blessed enough to have a partner who did his best to make sure that I did just that. None of it kept my daughter from dying. I don’t think any of it caused Lauren to die either, but the truth is that perfect prenatal care isn’t a guarantee.

The truth is that even the perfect pregnancy can end in heartbreak.

I’m not looking for the perfect pregnancy. I’m looking to keep my baby healthy, to bring home a happy child, a living child. Much of it is out of my hands – this early in the pregnancy, anything can happen, and there’s not much I can do to stop it. I know that. I’ll keep doing my best. But I’m not going to delude myself into believing that following all the rules will lead to a happy ending.

So, this is what I will do: I will live as healthy a lifestyle as I can. I will eat unprocessed foods as often as I can, I will eat as healthy as possible. I will take my vitamins in moderation. I will not obsess. I will follow my instincts. I will listen to advice and do what I feel I need to do. I will not follow blindly, nor will I take anything for granted. I will not believe in guarantees.

I will take care of myself and our baby as best I can. That is what I have control over. I’ll take that.

So, I took a break for a week while Geordie’s parents were visiting. I’m not much into doing the internet stuff when I’ve got guests. Also, it was Geordie’s vacation, so we had him at home too. We did lots of touristy stuff and took lots of pictures and ate out way too much, and we all had a good time!

Last week, I also had my first prenatal appointment and first ultrasound! The appointment with the midwives was pretty standard – a lot of talking, a lot of making sure all is healthy and good, a lot of blood-taking. The ultrasound appointment was shorter but perhaps more exciting. I can’t begin to express the relief we felt at seeing that little heartbeat. Baby is developing nicely at the moment, right on schedule. The official Estimated Due Date is December 8, which is about what I figured.

Other than that, I haven’t got much else to post at the moment. I have a couple posts from last week (namely the FFwD post for Friday) that I want to get written and posted. But that’s about it. I am starting to feel a little less yucky, but my appetite is still a bit wonked out, so I’ve been trying to stick to simple foods. And easy meals! This week’s meals don’t involve much in the way of recipes, and most of them are simple techniques I’ve done lots of times before and aren’t overly complicated. We’ll see how that works out.

Mostly, for now, I’m just trying to get back in the groove of writing. Taking a week off might be nice, but it’s not always easy getting back on track. I figure writing a little bit is better than continuing to write nothing at all! I actually have quite a few things I want to write about, it’s just getting my thoughts organized and written that’s the hard part. My stomach may be feeling better, but I still feel a little discombobulated in the head. Also, tired. Napping is pretty much a daily thing for me right now.

Anyway. That’s all for today!

Nine weeks down, thirty-one weeks to go!

Nausea settled in this week. It’s really hard to make dinner when just looking at raw veggies and meat makes you want to gag. I’ve been craving carbs and dairy products all this week, with meat coming in not far behind. Green vegetables were at the bottom of my list. Fatigue has also made cooking dinner something that’s hard to get excited about. But, I did manage a few.

 

Sunday
Creamy Crockpot Chicken Pasta (from Momma Hen’s Kitchen) and Spinach Salad with Balsamic Vinegar

creamychickenpasta

Anything made in the crockpot is going to be a winner for me right now. This was incredibly easy to do. The only real problem with it is that it really needs some veggies. We settled on a spinach salad, but we agreed that some real mushrooms would have been great added to the chicken (the recipe calls for a can of cream of mushroom soup, and I’d hardly call those real mushrooms). Geordie also thought some asparagus would be good, and I think that would certainly be interesting to try. Instead of Cajun seasoning, I used some cayenne and paprika for the seasoning, and that was fine. I’d make this again, with a few adjustments. It seems to me that it would be very kid-friendly and good for a comfort-food dinner on a cool evening.

 

Monday
Pearl Couscous Salad with Chickpeas & Artichokes (from EatingWell Serves Two)

pearlcouscoussalad

I was not excited about eating this, but I figured I should. I ended up making some changes – for starters, it was supposed to be an orzo salad, but I already had pearl couscous in the pantry, so I wanted to use that rather than buying something new. Instead of flavoring the salad with dill and mint, I used a little cumin and some za’atar, which were way more complementary, in my opinion. I also added more than the suggested teaspoon of oil and a little more lemon juice. This was incredibly dry without it. Ultimately, we both liked it, but I really could have done without the chickpeas. Normally, I love chickpeas, but they did not go very well in this salad. I wouldn’t mind making this again in the summer – it was served room temp and would be good a little chilled – but I’ll use a different protein. Tofu, I think, would be pretty good.

 

Tuesday
Old-Time Buttermilk Pie (from Taste of Home)

buttermilkpie

Okay, that’s not what we had for dinner. But it’s the only thing I made. I didn’t feel like cooking anything for dinner, so we just ordered a pizza. Such is the life of a pregnant woman sometimes. I had originally planned to make a shrimp and asparagus quiche, but I had gotten the shrimp out to prepare them, and that was it, I was done. I couldn’t stand looking at them. I already had the pie crust ready to go, so I just decided to make a pie instead. I had some buttermilk that needed to be used up, so this worked perfectly. This is such an old-fashioned type of pie, and I love it. The quarter-cup of lemon juice gives it a flavor reminiscent of lemon curd, but with a tang from the buttermilk. Very nice.

 

Thursday
Beef Tenderloin, Sauteed Mushrooms, and Spinach Pancakes (from Around My French Table)

steakpancakes

Steak isn’t my first choice right now. I like my steak rare. Like, really rare. This is not good for pregnant ladies. I can’t stand an over-cooked steak, but blood isn’t what pregnant ladies need. But, we’ve got all this steak in the freezer still, and I really wanted some beef. It’s good meat; even though it was over-cooked (in my opinion), it was still pretty juicy and tender. Nothing to complain about. Plus, the mushrooms were awesome, the spinach pancakes were tasty, and the overall fat content of the meal was relatively low. This was probably my favorite dinner of the week.

Although that delivery pizza was a very close second.

Sara

I am a daughter and a sister, a wife and a friend. I am a reader and a writer, a dreamer and a realist, a teacher and a learner. I am the mother of a baby born sleeping. I am on a journey of healing, walking a path paved with tears and grief and hope.

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what I've been reading

I Still Dream About You
The Nasty Bits: Collected Varietal Cuts, Usable Trim, Scraps, and Bones
The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats
The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
Baking with Julia: Sift, Knead, Flute, Flour, And Savor...
Beyond the Body Farm: A Legendary Bone Detective Explores Murders, Mysteries, and the Revolution in Forensic Science



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